Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Randomize
