So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
