We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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