Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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