Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm at about main and main street
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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