everyone is single if you try hard enough
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
