i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
