How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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