Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
