Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
These tits shall not be calmed
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