I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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