Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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