I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
