i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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