you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Still dying that you shit outside
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
