So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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