omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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