Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
