you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
