I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
