It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
