1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
