As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
COCAINE IS GR8
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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