I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
