i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Every concussion has its silver lining
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
