Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
