he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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