Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
