i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
