haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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