Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
