I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
