Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Did you pee in the oven last night??
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize