i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
