I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Someone shattered a urinal.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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