I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
