Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
