dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
