i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
