so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize