The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
