Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
