I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
