I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
