He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
