I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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