Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
