whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
