But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
