well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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