Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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