I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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