May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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