I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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