Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
