real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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