Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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