I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
