Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
