and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize
