First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There r osticjed everywhere
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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