I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize