He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
