this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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