So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
