I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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